(ed note: Any political blogs by Your Beard is Good is done solely in jest. Anything anyone takes away from this as being serious or being un-American has got to take a chill pill or stop having a cow. That's what Bart Simpson says. I will be voting in the election. Hopefully for Dukakis. Is he running?)Well, look who is back in the news this week. Barack Obama. The funny thing is that I hadn't heard much about him, oh, THE LAST 3 YEARS!!!! the good ole' USA has become absolutely enthralled with Barack Obama or as I like to call him, Barry O from the Barrio. See what I did there?Spanish is cool.I understand that most of America and the World despises President Bush and just wants someone new in there with fresh ideas and all that jazz, but something otherworldly has happened with Barack Obama.He's becoming more famous than Brangelina.We cannot let this happen. I need to hear about what's happening in the celeb world that I will never be a part of. I can't just let some Presidential guy take that away from me. The news came out two weeks ago that Angelina might be thinking about adopting again. Did we see this on the main page of popular websites? NO! What did we see?Obama to announce Vice President via Text Message.Damn you Obama and your attempt at being hip. Also ,nice job by the mainstream media calling this tactic revolutionary. Is it that important to be the first person to know that Joe Biden is his running mate? I think we should probably use massive text blast for everything. Be the first on your block to know that we ratified Proposition 62 to ban ear wax! Senator Clinton voted Nay! Be the first to know that McDonald's served its 27 billionth person! How could this go wrong? Here's how much my life changed when I found out Biden was his running mate the next morning instead of getting a text blast.Yup, nothing.I would have loved to seen the text message though...You have one new messageFrom Snoop Barry BarackYo yo peeps, I pckd Joe Biden as my rnng m8. Vote 4 me n Nov. R U Ready?!?!To one up Obama, McCain is actually telling everyone his running mate via Morse Code because as he puts it, "It's this newfangled contraption that's going to take over the world. We can communicate with each other!"As I opened up my favorite sites today I saw the main story being that Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention. What did she talk about?Probably shopping and how sexy George Clooney is.That's all that women talk about.Hey-Oh!Seriously, that was a joke. Please do not firebomb my blog with hate comments. Just trying to make a little, "Women be shopping," humor. I love women even if they don't love me back.A couple things caught my eye about how this guy can do no wrong in this country. I understand that most of the media is liberal as are most blogs, but I mean this is ridiculous. If some other person made these mistakes they would be castrated. I mean look at Dan Quayle. He spelled potato wrong and now will never live it down. Bill Clinton did some stuff with an intern and gets castrated. Al Gore said he invented the Internet.LEAVE THEM ALONE!Man, I just sounded like that dude that did the "Leave Britney Alone" video.I'm lame.Here are the quotes I pulled from the story."Now you know why I asked her out so many times, even though she said no,"Seriously, dude, that's creepy. So basically you stalked her until she finally said yes and then made her your wife. This sounds like something out of a bad Law and Order episode. Or maybe a good episode. Imagine if any of us had said that. People would be giving us the stink eye and asking our significant other if they had been hypnotized."That's why I hide the ether in the trunk."Ok, I made that one up. But don't be surprised if it comes out later.""How about that Michelle Obama?" Barack Obama said. He told her: "You were unbelievable.""You also look very cute," he said.Leave the flirting at home please. No one wants a PDA President. Actually I'm pretty sure that was in the speech that he had prepared. "Give wife compliment or she will yell at me at home, also, don't mention the bill I want to pass about revoking women's rights to vote." I see what you're doing Obama you won't fool me.Can't you imagine McCain trying to compliment his wife?"I think my wife looked radiantly stunning like a 1906 sunset off the shores of Lum Thao Phong when we were having cream cheese sandwiches."That McCain is a smooth operator, indeed.Then our friend Obama didn't know that he was in Kansas City and said he was in St. Louis. So what happened? His 7 year old had to bail him out.Sasha apparently was prompted to ask: "Daddy, what city are you in?""I'm in Kansas City, sweetie."Little known fact that after he said that he actually changed the name of Kansas City to St. Louis to make him look right. Then yelled at his daughter for interrupting his, "moment." The sad part is that McCain doesn't even remember what decade it is when he gets up. So I guess it's a push.In conclusion, Barack Obama can say whatever he wants and gets away with it and John McCain is old.Barry O from the Barrio in the hizzey.